sharing my love

Posted by Trupti Pandya on Jun 28, 2015

Few months back I started working with rescued women who were victims of trafficking. These females are caught by police and they are put in government homes. My first visit inside these homes numbed me. I realized how different it was to just listen and hear about something and encounter it in real.

When I entered that place I saw females of my age. Few of them were wives and mothers. Some were sold by their families, some opted due to poverty, some were miss guided and the reasons of they being here were unending. The truth for this moment was that they were staying under one roof, waiting for their turn to go out of this walled structure once the court procedures are done. One question that we keep hearing from them is when will they be out of this place and be with their family and children and the only answer that we can give is –soon. Each person's procedure varies due to several factors playing role and most of the time it is ambiguous for us and the women staying there.

There are days when ones values gets tested. On my first day I realized how my mind reacted to this place and women staying there. While interacting with them on the first day it happened that their hands or shoulders touched mine and I could see how my mind started reacting to the touch. I started feeling impure and physically I created distance. Rest of the day I was just sinking in the experience and meanwhile I realized, if I was feeling this way with their touch on my body, how would they be feeling whose body was abused so many times by different people. Not only there body but something beyond their bodies was abused.

As I started spending more and time with them, I started seeing my own reflections in them. They and I had the same emotions, they laughed on what I laughed, they felt sad when they missed their family as I did, they danced on the same tunes that I did and showed similar concerns for their loved ones as I do. As time flowed, day by day I started seeing them in me, my inhibitions and layers of conditioning started shedding off.

Yesterday when we went for our session, we were supposed to work with 10-15 women but due to certain circumstances we had to take a session with 80 women which did freak me out. We started with om chanting with a little brief about how the sound itself helps us heal. The second session was on dance moment therapy session concluded by a drawing session where one had to express how they were feeling on paper using different colours.

While the last session was going on, I was just sitting and observing myself and others. I could feel the shift in the energy. It had become lighter and settled. In the background, instrumental of 'Vaishnav jan toh' was being played and women were fully engrossed with colours. One women that drew my attention was Pooja. She is pregnant and on the other hand was in the prison. Pregnancy is a journey for a mother and the child where both the external and internal state of the mother plays a vital role for the development of the child. She participated with full energy when we were dancing and drew beautifully in the last session and went back smiling. Though few other women told her to just sit and not dance but she said that I don’t want to go through a cesarean, instead I would love to be active till the end rather than just sitting ideally.

Seeing her I could only feel love for her. I did not have answers to why she was here at this stage or when will she be out. The only thing I could do was share my prayers, blessings and love for her and the child. With each such encounter I feel even more and more grateful to all that I have.


Posted by Trupti Pandya on Jun 28, 2015 | permalink

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  • Khushmita wrote ...

    Thanks for sharing this trupti,such a beautiful and genuine account of human connections...felt the emotions and vulnerability you must have experienced through this sharing..

  • Ragunath wrote ...

    Not easy. Not easy at all. From a distance it is easy to talk about oneness, equanimity etc. You had managed to cross a defensive line into love. I am sure people like Gitanjali were with you in spirit for you to be able to do this. Because of you, it becomes easier for us to step it up. Thanks for adding another BTC moment to the SSp sangha. Next time, hug them on my behalf.