When I heard Rev Heng Sure sing She Carries Me, it melted some knots in my heart, and I offer it here in the hope that it may strum a few strings of your heart too. Dedicated to the divine feminine in all her expressions, this is one song that lends itself as easily to Mother Mary as well Guan Yin.
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Growing up, I often heard from my beloved elders around me that God was this incredible being who was omni-potent, omni present and all pervading. I never quite understood what this meant, as I was used to seeing people with only two hands and feet, and not the 1000 limbs as poetically described in the scriptures. Quotes like God can hear even the tiniest of sounds such as the twinkling of anklets on an ant's feet always confounded me yet faith in my elder's kept me from questioning them. I thought maybe as I grew up this mystery would reveal itself, but as the years rolled on neither did I meet this being, nor did the question drop.
As comes a time in many a young person's life, due to series of unforeseen blows and losses, the rigid monkey mind went into a suspension, and all beliefs and doubts just dropped. In retrospection, the soul was waking up and it sought direct experience of life, not borrowed truths of others, no matter how profound and poetic they may sound. I started questioning everything, and quietly slipping into an almost atheistic space. Yet always, a small voice kept saying "There is more to life than meets the eye. Have faith, and keep searching for the what is real, what is true."
Over time, the questions did slowly turned into wonders. Hard, penetrating, yang-like questions such as "WHO AM I?" transformed into gentle, spacious, yin-like enquiry of "who am i!"
Turns out life is much simpler when a convoluted question mark (?) becomes an elegant exclamation mark (!). It marks a simple shift from being consumed by the need to answer a question, to a spacious waiting for the answer to arrive in its own time.
"She is a boat, she is a light High on a hill in dark of night She is a wave, she is the deep She is the dark where angels sleep When all is still and peace abides She carries me to the other side, She carries me to the other side...
And though I walk through valleys deep And shadows chase me in my sleep On rocky cliffs I stand alone I have no name, I have no home With broken wings I reach to fly She carries me to the other side, She carries me to the other side...
A thousand arms, a thousand eyes A thousand ears to hear my cries She is the gate, she is the door She leads me through and back once more When day has dawned and death is nigh She'll carry me to the other side, She carries me to the other side...
She is the first, she is the last She is the future and the past, Mother of all, of earth and sky She carries me to the other side, She carries me to the other side..."