Three dimensions. One inquiry.
Our retreats are organized around a simple frame — ME, WE, and US. These aren’t stages to complete. They’re nested dimensions of being human, each one holding the others.
Restoring the balance
We live in a world that’s very good at developing the head and the hands — thinking and doing. We have far fewer spaces to understand and grow our hearts.
These retreats are an experiment in restoring that balance. Not by abandoning the head and hands, but by letting the heart lead.
Showing up fully — not just physically, but with all parts of ourselves integrated.
What becomes possible when presence meets presence. Genuine connection that regenerates both people.
What wants to happen through us that none of us planned. Like starlings in a murmuration.
These three dimensions aren’t sequential — they’re nested. Deep “Me” work makes genuine “We” possible. Genuine “We” creates the conditions for “Us” to emerge. And experiencing “Us” transforms how we understand “Me.”
We won’t resolve these questions. We’ll live inside them — and let them live inside us.
Starting With Ourselves
How do I tell the difference between my true inner voice and my ego?
What does “Me” actually mean in this context?
Provocations to chew on
Apps and platforms are designed to hijack your attention below your awareness. They tested these techniques on lab rats before releasing them on us. Before we can resist external manipulation, can we even notice when we’re being pulled?
Most of us think presence means “I’m paying attention right now.” But Prendergast’s stages suggest that’s just the beginning. What would it be like to operate from “everything is my body” — not as a nice idea, but as an actual experience?
If love requires sustained attention, and our attention spans keep shrinking, what happens to our capacity for love? Going from 8 seconds to even 12 seconds of focus might transform the depth of your relationships more than any technique.
Gandhi said something wild: all the patterns we see in the world — greed, violence, fear — also exist inside us. If we change those inner patterns, the world’s response to us changes too. He called it “a divine mystery.”
Gandhi had 11 daily vows — specific practices to “purify” himself so his actions in the world would actually be effective. Most of us skip this step and jump straight to trying to change things. What practices would you need to become the kind of person whose actions actually work?
Gandhi’s word Swaraj meant self-rule — being the boss of your own mind and impulses. In a world designed to hijack your desires, what does genuine self-governance even feel like? Is it willpower, or something else?
What We Create Together
What can we do together that we can’t do alone?
What does “We” actually mean in this context?
Provocations to chew on
We celebrate moving from transactions to relationships, but relationships can also be collected — LinkedIn connections, social capital, “networking.” What’s the difference between accumulating relationships and actually being in relationship?
You can connect with thousands of people on social media and still feel completely alone. What actually creates the conditions where people truly meet each other — not just exchange information, but actually touch each other’s lives?
Most of us live in two worlds at once: we want deeper, more generous ways of relating, but we also have rent due. How do we hold this tension honestly? Is gift economy only possible for people who already have enough?
Even movements that claim to have no leaders usually have people with more influence than others — those who set the agenda, curate the guest list, hold the history. Can power ever be truly distributed? Or can we just be more honest about where it actually lives?
If kindness and generosity feel so good, why is scrolling more addictive than serving? This is a design problem, not a heart problem. So why haven’t the compassionate people designed better systems yet? What would it mean to “throw a better party”?
Bill O’Brien said: “The success of an intervention depends on the interior condition of the intervener.” Who you are shapes whether what you do actually works. This is obvious in relationships — but could it be true for social change too?
What Emerges Beyond Our Plans
What grows here?
What does “Us” actually mean in this context?
Provocations to chew on
“What grows here?” sounds passive, but it’s actually harder than making a plan. It requires releasing your attachment to specific outcomes while staying fully engaged. How do you care deeply without gripping tightly?
It’s tempting to think “Us” just means “more of us” or “all of us agreeing.” But actual field coherence — where something genuinely new emerges — is different from group consensus. How would you even know the difference?
The retreat talks about synchronized hearts creating a “field effect.” Is this poetic language, or is something actually happening? And if it’s real, what breaks it?
Groups that explicitly want emergence often prevent it — by rushing to action, avoiding conflict, or prematurely deciding what “we” think. What are the most common ways we accidentally shut down what’s trying to be born?
In a murmuration, the “leaders” synchronize things and then disappear into the flock. But humans have egos, reputations, identities. What does healthy disappearing look like for people who still need to show up tomorrow?
Monarch butterflies migrate routes that take six generations to complete. They pass on navigation through means we don’t understand. What would it mean for humans to think in 10,000-year timeframes? Not as strategic planning, but as a different kind of orientation entirely.
Where am I on the ladder of groundedness right now? What would it take to drop one level deeper?
What relationships in my life have actually moved from transaction to regeneration? What made the difference?
What’s trying to emerge through this group that none of us planned? Can I perceive it without grabbing it?
Ready to step in?
These questions come alive in the crucible of shared practice. A document can describe them. A retreat lets you live them.
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