It has been humbling and such a privilege to be a part of 14-day Family Kindness Lockdown challenge, which almost a 100 of us in Surat are playing. Our feed is full of remarkable stories, making us smile, cry, rejoice and be inspired. Couple days ago, 17 of us gathered for a mid-challenge reflection call and I am very happy to share some stories with you all-
♥ My dad has been doubling down on cleaning up old stuff in the house. In an old suitcase, he found a book which my mom had written probably when she was 19. We got together in a circle and invited mom to read some entries. One of the poems was on innocence, and as mom was reading it, In her lines written decades ago, now we could all see my sister and my sister’s eyes got drenched with tears… The next entry was on feminism, and a line read “koi ladki ke pankh nahi kaat sakta” (no one can clip the wings of a girl) and it got me tearing up as I am known in the family as the one who does what she likes. It was the kind of day, which you know you will take to your graves and feel satisfied.
♥ After doing the day’s task, I invited my mother-in-law, who is 89, to join me for a selfie. She agreed but said she would like to take 2 mins to brush her hair. I suggested that it’s not necessary but she
said that “you have done your hair nicely, so you should let me also do it.” She then inquired and learned about this kindness challenge. From next day onwards, she started coming and inquring– “what is today’s act” and even giving me many suggestions. Actually, for last many years she has been living very silently, not taking much interest in daily interactions, so it has been a great surprise and gift for us to see her engage with so much excitement. I wonder if it’s this new vibration of kindness in the house, which is nourishing her.
♥ One day the act was to not complain. I noticed that even though I was successful in not complaining verbally, but I decided to continue that practice over next days so that I could reduce complaining at a mental level.
♥ I wrote an appreciation letter to my daughter who is in US. She is a doctor and dealing with covid situation out there, so the times must be stressful for her. She was so much touched. Then another
day, I wrote a poem for her. She was deeply moved and also very confused that how come mom is getting all poetic and artistic suddenly. I feel really happy that this happened.
♥ Seeing people in the group gives positive mindset. Makes family more near and dear.
♥ Joining this challenge has cleared so many things in my head. I have never done any household work at my home. a) So as part of one idea, I made some upma for the first time. Since then, I find myself making some small dish everyday in the kitchen. b) Then, I used to think that I am not a complaining person, but when the daily act was ‘to not complain’ I noticed I complain so much- about small things like less (or more) sugar in tea, no spoon in the plate, etc. With this realization, I try to say the same things positively. c) When my daughter was small, oiling her fair was a daily ritual
for me. When we received the act ‘to express our love through touch’, I was reminded of that ritual. I suggested it to my daughter and she said “Dad no, I have grown up now”. Then her mom encouraged her to allow me. I then oiled my daughter’s hair after a decade. We couldn’t stop at that, and we talked about the old days. We couldn’t stop at that, and we dug out old photographs and revisited the memories.
♥ My highlight was when I made a gift for my daughter. Made a necklace of chits with compliments and inspirational messages, and put it in a small box. I feel blessed to be a witness to her smiles as he unpacked and read through those chits.
♥ I can see myself improving day-by-day with this kindness practice. I feel held by this group. I am often not comfortable sharing my deepest feelings and emotions even with my best friends, but I feel
very happy to share authentically with this group.
♥ At the start, I was wondering why do we have to give people ideas and tasks for being kind. We all are kind anyway. But right from day 1, I am being able to see the value in these mutual reminders
and collective practice. With covid, the normal life has come to a standstill and there are so many stress factors, this challenge has helped me to be positive and spread positivity.
♥ Bahut saras laago (feels very nice)
♥ Giving is receiving. a) I am 42, and my father is 89. First time in my life, I gave him a head massage. The closeness and bonding we shared, I have never felt that before. Even now as I share it, I am
getting goosebumps. Was I giving or was I receiving? b) In a heart circle recently, for the first time I wrote some lines for my wife and I was shocked that I could write something which resembles a
poem. Then now I wrote a poem for my son, and when he thanked me from the bottom of his heart, I knew I am not giving, but I am receiving; receiving too much. c) When the idea was to play some fun games together, we chose a traditional game which we thought our housemaid will enjoy. As we saw her wide smiles, we definitely knew we were not giving, but only receiving. Now I know that the next step is to not to do these acts because it gives me fun but to let go of this desire as well for a deeper organic giving to emerge.
♥ My dad has been doubling down on cleaning up old stuff in the house. In an old suitcase, he found a book which my mom had written probably when she was 19. We got together in a circle and invited mom to read some entries. One of the poems was on innocence, and as mom was reading it, In her lines written decades ago, now we could all see my sister and my sister’s eyes got drenched with tears… The next entry was on feminism, and a line read “koi ladki ke pankh nahi kaat sakta” (no one can clip the wings of a girl) and it got me tearing up as I am known in the family as the one who does what she likes. It was the kind of day, which you know you will take to your graves and feel satisfied.
♥ After doing the day’s task, I invited my mother-in-law, who is 89, to join me for a selfie. She agreed but said she would like to take 2 mins to brush her hair. I suggested that it’s not necessary but she
said that “you have done your hair nicely, so you should let me also do it.” She then inquired and learned about this kindness challenge. From next day onwards, she started coming and inquring– “what is today’s act” and even giving me many suggestions. Actually, for last many years she has been living very silently, not taking much interest in daily interactions, so it has been a great surprise and gift for us to see her engage with so much excitement. I wonder if it’s this new vibration of kindness in the house, which is nourishing her.
♥ One day the act was to not complain. I noticed that even though I was successful in not complaining verbally, but I decided to continue that practice over next days so that I could reduce complaining at a mental level.
♥ I wrote an appreciation letter to my daughter who is in US. She is a doctor and dealing with covid situation out there, so the times must be stressful for her. She was so much touched. Then another
day, I wrote a poem for her. She was deeply moved and also very confused that how come mom is getting all poetic and artistic suddenly. I feel really happy that this happened.
♥ Seeing people in the group gives positive mindset. Makes family more near and dear.
♥ Joining this challenge has cleared so many things in my head. I have never done any household work at my home. a) So as part of one idea, I made some upma for the first time. Since then, I find myself making some small dish everyday in the kitchen. b) Then, I used to think that I am not a complaining person, but when the daily act was ‘to not complain’ I noticed I complain so much- about small things like less (or more) sugar in tea, no spoon in the plate, etc. With this realization, I try to say the same things positively. c) When my daughter was small, oiling her fair was a daily ritual
for me. When we received the act ‘to express our love through touch’, I was reminded of that ritual. I suggested it to my daughter and she said “Dad no, I have grown up now”. Then her mom encouraged her to allow me. I then oiled my daughter’s hair after a decade. We couldn’t stop at that, and we talked about the old days. We couldn’t stop at that, and we dug out old photographs and revisited the memories.
♥ My highlight was when I made a gift for my daughter. Made a necklace of chits with compliments and inspirational messages, and put it in a small box. I feel blessed to be a witness to her smiles as he unpacked and read through those chits.
♥ I can see myself improving day-by-day with this kindness practice. I feel held by this group. I am often not comfortable sharing my deepest feelings and emotions even with my best friends, but I feel
very happy to share authentically with this group.
♥ At the start, I was wondering why do we have to give people ideas and tasks for being kind. We all are kind anyway. But right from day 1, I am being able to see the value in these mutual reminders
and collective practice. With covid, the normal life has come to a standstill and there are so many stress factors, this challenge has helped me to be positive and spread positivity.
♥ Bahut saras laago (feels very nice)
♥ Giving is receiving. a) I am 42, and my father is 89. First time in my life, I gave him a head massage. The closeness and bonding we shared, I have never felt that before. Even now as I share it, I am
getting goosebumps. Was I giving or was I receiving? b) In a heart circle recently, for the first time I wrote some lines for my wife and I was shocked that I could write something which resembles a
poem. Then now I wrote a poem for my son, and when he thanked me from the bottom of his heart, I knew I am not giving, but I am receiving; receiving too much. c) When the idea was to play some fun games together, we chose a traditional game which we thought our housemaid will enjoy. As we saw her wide smiles, we definitely knew we were not giving, but only receiving. Now I know that the next step is to not to do these acts because it gives me fun but to let go of this desire as well for a deeper organic giving to emerge.
Reflections
Share your thoughts or questions